Silence

Your silence is disconcerting. It is so quiet, I can hear my thoughts screaming to be heard. I have things that I want to tell you. So many words that need to be said. I have every intention to share my thoughts with you. They dance on the tip of my tongue and practically leap off my lips as soon as I start to open my mouth. But, when my eyes meet your eyes, something makes me hold everything back. You can instantly turn from hot to cold in a matter of milliseconds. It's so abrupt sometimes, it almost feels like I am standing next to a different person. I don't know if it is something I do. One moment I can be so comfortable when you look at me, and then at other times, your piercing stare makes me want to hide away. I'm starting to feel scared to even look at you. I don't know what you are thinking, but I know it must be significant enough that you feel a reason to suppress it. You hold back and then I hold back. I shouldn't feel this way; especially because I hardly see you. You show more emotion in your e-mails than in person. I know you feel things. Are you afraid to share them with me? If so, why must you be afraid of me? I want to be your friend. Your silence makes me think you don't see me as anything beyond a bunch of bones covered up by skin. Make me feel like I am worth something to you... I beg of you.