Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Challenge
I think my heart is too large for my little container of a body. The energy it takes out of me to keep it from beating right through my bones is indescribable. I feel frail and exposed. Yet, I have endurance. Life is full of ironies
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Questions
I often find myself wondering if dating was always this hard or if by our own devices, we have crippled our very own relationships through the use of the latest and greatest technologies. Like it or not, human beings are so technologically connected now whether it be via e-mail, facebook, myspace, text messaging, or something else. This has made it more difficult for many to define their boundaries with the other sex. Think about the girl who continues to communicate with her ex because of technology (because she can) and it can be infuriating to the new guy in her life. How and when do we draw the line when it comes to communicating with "out-of-bounds" people? Or is it that because these people are now a keyboard strike away, some no longer consider them "out-of-bounds" at all? If that's the case, what is to prevent social network cheating? Or can that not be cheating because you are not physically with that person at all? Either way, I think it does make both parties less trusting of each other. It has made us become desensitized to exclusivity. What is the fix to all of this? To become a techno-hermit? We can't avoid it... at least, I don't think so.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
When you Love
An old school song I wrote and performed back in the day:
When you love someone
you treat them right
never give up
even after a fight
there are two of you
that share a common goal
and neither one ever
has more control
When you love someone
it's hard to be apart
being away makes pain in your heart
it'll never fail
with whatever they do
there'll never be a moment
they cease to impress you
These are some signs
that you really do care
but here are the steps
that determine a pair...
you promise to love them
stay by their side
never deny them
your feelings inside
When you love someone
you confide in them too
go to them to talk about
what's bothering you
get that smile
when they walk in the door
there's nobody else
you'd rather adore
These are some signs
that you really do care
but here are the steps
that determine a pair...
you promise to love them
stay by their side
never deny them
your feelings inside
You know that it's right
when you have this in mind
this is what brings together
two of a kind
and if nothing else
remember this thought:
they'll help you realize
if you love them or not
When you love someone
your life feels complete
without them there could be
nothing more sweet
You'll never have a doubt
that this is the one
your love will never come undone
you promise to love them
stay by their side
never deny them
your feelings inside
When you love someone
you treat them right
never give up
even after a fight
there are two of you
that share a common goal
and neither one ever
has more control
When you love someone
it's hard to be apart
being away makes pain in your heart
it'll never fail
with whatever they do
there'll never be a moment
they cease to impress you
These are some signs
that you really do care
but here are the steps
that determine a pair...
you promise to love them
stay by their side
never deny them
your feelings inside
When you love someone
you confide in them too
go to them to talk about
what's bothering you
get that smile
when they walk in the door
there's nobody else
you'd rather adore
These are some signs
that you really do care
but here are the steps
that determine a pair...
you promise to love them
stay by their side
never deny them
your feelings inside
You know that it's right
when you have this in mind
this is what brings together
two of a kind
and if nothing else
remember this thought:
they'll help you realize
if you love them or not
When you love someone
your life feels complete
without them there could be
nothing more sweet
You'll never have a doubt
that this is the one
your love will never come undone
you promise to love them
stay by their side
never deny them
your feelings inside
Little Longer
Another oldie:
It wasn't long before the silence came
I was all by myself and lonesome
When days before I was doing just fine
Never dreamed that this day would come
Could not have been any fault of mine
My goal was to treat him right
No matter how good I was to him
He just picked another fight
This can only make me stronger
'Cause next time I'll think longer
Time went by, he treated me wrong
It was something he made well understood
Gave me the cold chill of not caring
And he'd never take that back if he could
One day you'll find you're out on your own
After your man walks out on you
But now you know not to waste your time crying
'Cause this is what you have to do
You just say: "This can only make me stronger
'Cause next time I'll think longer"
It wasn't long before the silence came
I was all by myself and lonesome
When days before I was doing just fine
Never dreamed that this day would come
Could not have been any fault of mine
My goal was to treat him right
No matter how good I was to him
He just picked another fight
This can only make me stronger
'Cause next time I'll think longer
Time went by, he treated me wrong
It was something he made well understood
Gave me the cold chill of not caring
And he'd never take that back if he could
One day you'll find you're out on your own
After your man walks out on you
But now you know not to waste your time crying
'Cause this is what you have to do
You just say: "This can only make me stronger
'Cause next time I'll think longer"
Give Me Your Heart
Another old set of lyrics I found:
I'm tired of the way it goes
It's always me getting played
I say to myself, "it would have been nice"
If only he would have stayed
But now I know how it's got to be
He's got to do all that he can
To treat me like he gives a damn
I want him to act like a man
Give me your heart
Give me your time
You have to be smart
if you want to be mine
Do what I say
You better be fast
You've got 'til today
for a love that could last
I don't want a boy that
can't give into love
I want him to give up the fight
of holding on to his feelings inside
when he sees me and loves at first sight
You've got potential
I can see it in your eyes
I know that I like you
I've got butterflies
You're so close to perfection
You're just about there
All you have left to do
is love if you dare
Love is so strong
and you've got to be true
If you are sure about me
I'll be sure about you
I know that you're not
going to make
the biggest mistake
Please don't play games
I'm falling for you
There isn't much to it
All you've got to do
Give me your heart
Give me your time
Please baby fast, a love that can last
So give me, give me
Just give me your heart
I'm tired of the way it goes
It's always me getting played
I say to myself, "it would have been nice"
If only he would have stayed
But now I know how it's got to be
He's got to do all that he can
To treat me like he gives a damn
I want him to act like a man
Give me your heart
Give me your time
You have to be smart
if you want to be mine
Do what I say
You better be fast
You've got 'til today
for a love that could last
I don't want a boy that
can't give into love
I want him to give up the fight
of holding on to his feelings inside
when he sees me and loves at first sight
You've got potential
I can see it in your eyes
I know that I like you
I've got butterflies
You're so close to perfection
You're just about there
All you have left to do
is love if you dare
Love is so strong
and you've got to be true
If you are sure about me
I'll be sure about you
I know that you're not
going to make
the biggest mistake
Please don't play games
I'm falling for you
There isn't much to it
All you've got to do
Give me your heart
Give me your time
Please baby fast, a love that can last
So give me, give me
Just give me your heart
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Epiphany
You are the untamed stallion, running free, living wild, always on the cusp of adventure. That is you and I am finally ok with it. After all, the 20's are for discovering yourself. As for me, I'm flipping over rocks, revealing hidden pieces of me I never knew I had. I think I've misplaced the passionate person that I was. As if I slipped that part of me in a back pocket of an old pair of jeans and I'm waiting for it to turn up in an unexpected place. I've uncovered my dependency on being alone. What hurts the most is when I sit down to play my piano and nothing comes of it. No feeling of satiety, no urge to express myself through the only language I once so tactfully knew how to speak. I sometimes feel sincerely sorry for what never happened. I recognize I was wrong to hold you back from your destiny. Trying to hold you close was as futile as trying to pin down the wind. Nonetheless, it was supposed to happen this way. We have to learn from our mistakes to get anywhere. I have learned. I will never waste time regretting the steps I've taken to get to where I am. I've become a woman I am extemely proud to be and some pieces of that woman have come to be because of you and those who have touched me in my lifetime.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Auto Bailout
Here are some thoughts that me and my man talked about a few days ago...
Should we bail out the automakers? That's a tough one. The reality is that American automobiles cannot compete with foreign automobiles. Generally, foreign automobiles offer the best value for the money. I mean, for the most part, they are more reliable (they run forever and require less maintenance)and are more fuel efficient. So saving the American automakers would not spark consumers to go out and purchase more American automobiles, that's for sure. American automakers need to re-engineer their product lines. If anything, they are the reason why our economy is in this slump in the first place. If U.S. automakers produced better quality, more competitive products, America would be in a much better place. If the government does give them money to fix their problem, it has to be a conditional credit. They would have to prove they could compete with the rest of the world, even if it means spending the money on research and development to improve product lines. However, this probably would take too much time and not boost the economy when we need that boost the most. One could argue that the American automakers made their bed and they should lay in it. However, at the expense of America's and the rest of the world's decline? Should the world economy crumble as a result of some lazy American profiteers? Maybe it's the American consumers' faults because we have become too highly dependent on foreign products and services. To save a buck, we've declined ourselves. How many years has the U.S. automarket been behind? Plenty long enough to learn from the many mistakes and develop better products. Did American automakers honestly think that their bland designs and lackluster quality would last? They better have a darn good business case in the works for what's going to be changed, because something has to-- most definitely.
Should we bail out the automakers? That's a tough one. The reality is that American automobiles cannot compete with foreign automobiles. Generally, foreign automobiles offer the best value for the money. I mean, for the most part, they are more reliable (they run forever and require less maintenance)and are more fuel efficient. So saving the American automakers would not spark consumers to go out and purchase more American automobiles, that's for sure. American automakers need to re-engineer their product lines. If anything, they are the reason why our economy is in this slump in the first place. If U.S. automakers produced better quality, more competitive products, America would be in a much better place. If the government does give them money to fix their problem, it has to be a conditional credit. They would have to prove they could compete with the rest of the world, even if it means spending the money on research and development to improve product lines. However, this probably would take too much time and not boost the economy when we need that boost the most. One could argue that the American automakers made their bed and they should lay in it. However, at the expense of America's and the rest of the world's decline? Should the world economy crumble as a result of some lazy American profiteers? Maybe it's the American consumers' faults because we have become too highly dependent on foreign products and services. To save a buck, we've declined ourselves. How many years has the U.S. automarket been behind? Plenty long enough to learn from the many mistakes and develop better products. Did American automakers honestly think that their bland designs and lackluster quality would last? They better have a darn good business case in the works for what's going to be changed, because something has to-- most definitely.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
A Message from a Lover
My heart beats your name, my blood screams it, my smile shows it to the world and my lips give it to you.
All day, my heart physically aches for you. I want to kiss you as hard as I can and breathe in your smell until it's etched into my memory. I want to hold you as close as humanly possible and then even closer to the point where my soul absorbs your own. Even then, it just would not be enough. I had no idea love could make you feel so much pain when you're apart.
I can't fathom a day without you in my life. I count my blessings every day and pray that I never lose you.
I'm so excited for what the future holds for us. When I look at you, everything makes sense. I now have a reason to praise every passing day because I am lucky enough to spend them with my soulmate.
I have to tell you how much I absolutely, positively, without question, love you with all that is me. You are more than I have ever dreamed of. I love your sensitive side, your courage, intelligence, drive, and beauty. Truth be told, you are my hero.
I can't wait for the day... the day I ask your hand in marriage. That will be the best damn day; the day that solidifies my entire existence.
Please understand I will be by your side, no matter what happens, and will always respect you and your decisions. I want you to understand that I'm here to love, cherish, and support you through any obstacle until the end of our existence. I love you.
Every waking minute I spend with you is perfection. You are amazing. You are perfect. You = Me (forever). There's no other for me; there's only you.
All day, my heart physically aches for you. I want to kiss you as hard as I can and breathe in your smell until it's etched into my memory. I want to hold you as close as humanly possible and then even closer to the point where my soul absorbs your own. Even then, it just would not be enough. I had no idea love could make you feel so much pain when you're apart.
I can't fathom a day without you in my life. I count my blessings every day and pray that I never lose you.
I'm so excited for what the future holds for us. When I look at you, everything makes sense. I now have a reason to praise every passing day because I am lucky enough to spend them with my soulmate.
I have to tell you how much I absolutely, positively, without question, love you with all that is me. You are more than I have ever dreamed of. I love your sensitive side, your courage, intelligence, drive, and beauty. Truth be told, you are my hero.
I can't wait for the day... the day I ask your hand in marriage. That will be the best damn day; the day that solidifies my entire existence.
Please understand I will be by your side, no matter what happens, and will always respect you and your decisions. I want you to understand that I'm here to love, cherish, and support you through any obstacle until the end of our existence. I love you.
Every waking minute I spend with you is perfection. You are amazing. You are perfect. You = Me (forever). There's no other for me; there's only you.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Run Away With Me
Listen, it beats for you.
Take hold of every beat of my heart
in your hands
and then press against yours.
Take all of me for you.
I'm tethered to your smiling eyes.
For me, it was always you.
Whisk me away to the moon where
we shall hide in the darkness
of its shadow, forever.
Take hold of every beat of my heart
in your hands
and then press against yours.
Take all of me for you.
I'm tethered to your smiling eyes.
For me, it was always you.
Whisk me away to the moon where
we shall hide in the darkness
of its shadow, forever.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Interesting Concept -- Unmaking the Universe
It is interesting to imagine what would happen during a reverse "Big Bang." An implosion of dark matter, sucking in all existence into a compacted ball of nothingness. Think of it... all of the cosmos compressing into something so extremely small that it is unfathomable. Then, as soon as that dense mass could not contain itself in that small space any longer, another "Big Bang" occurs; this time a new cosmos forms. One so completely different than the one before, yet so much the same-- like parallel dimensions, only not existing in parallel but rather in sequence. Maybe then the implosion would take place again, only this time reversing existence. Everything would recreate itself, but it would happen in super-speed rewind. How glorious would that be? I presume we would be recreated again but from death to birth, and we would have no notion of existing backwards. Or, perhaps could it be that we remembered our birth starting from death from our birth in the previous dimension? I am tripping on exhaustion.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
My love for you
My love for you is, oh
I gasp for air--I cannot breathe
and yet, I am all breath.
My love for you
more than fills me,
too large to keep
within one skin.
My love for you
bubbles out every crevice
of my being, tickling
the universe surrounding;
the roadways, the insects,
the trees, the clouds absorb
the warmth of its sweet
perfumey radiance. Oh
my love for you, it
nourishes my soul.
I gasp for air--I cannot breathe
and yet, I am all breath.
My love for you
more than fills me,
too large to keep
within one skin.
My love for you
bubbles out every crevice
of my being, tickling
the universe surrounding;
the roadways, the insects,
the trees, the clouds absorb
the warmth of its sweet
perfumey radiance. Oh
my love for you, it
nourishes my soul.
Monday, October 29, 2007
You left me by the river bank
alone with my grief, where
I sit motionless and dwell upon
the intensity of my hurt,
stinging my moral fiber,
whilst the Canadian geese gawk at the neighboring fisherman.
You were the autumn wind,
cold and uncontrollable,
and I nothing more than a deciduous tree--
letting you pluck from me
the orangey-red foliage that is my heart.
Fallen away because its use is finished.
Two tears descend,
skimming my lips
they are no escape from my thirsty tongue
and this is all I have left to show for my remorse?
You left me alone
in a crowded world.
Soon the sun will steal the warmth from the air
as it flees beyond what I cannot see
and when the chill of night comes out from hiding,
I will recall the love I no longer have
Because you left me by the river bank.
alone with my grief, where
I sit motionless and dwell upon
the intensity of my hurt,
stinging my moral fiber,
whilst the Canadian geese gawk at the neighboring fisherman.
You were the autumn wind,
cold and uncontrollable,
and I nothing more than a deciduous tree--
letting you pluck from me
the orangey-red foliage that is my heart.
Fallen away because its use is finished.
Two tears descend,
skimming my lips
they are no escape from my thirsty tongue
and this is all I have left to show for my remorse?
You left me alone
in a crowded world.
Soon the sun will steal the warmth from the air
as it flees beyond what I cannot see
and when the chill of night comes out from hiding,
I will recall the love I no longer have
Because you left me by the river bank.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Halloween
I would love to take a nice long stroll anywhere at all and just absorb in the Fall scenery using as many of my senses as possible--let the rich reds, oranges, and yellows take over my sight as I listen to the sounds of the falling leaves tickling the sidewalks. I would welcome the chilly air kissing the tip of my nose, while smelling the sweet fragrance of decaying leaves all falling around me, and all the while tracing the coarse knitting of my warm cozy sweater with my fingertips.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
It just occured to me that if you are as faithful as you seem, you could perhaps view all of this as some sort of test of your faith. In no way do I doubt your strength of mind. Maybe God did place me in your life as a temptress-- maybe I am meant to be like the snake that tempted Eve-- an instrument that only exists to make you more in touch with your faith. I would like to think that I have more of a purpose than that, but then again, I'm the one that doesn't believe. Maybe it is my punishment? Or maybe you exist to present faith to me? You see how I question everything? This is my nature. Although it would give me less of a headache (and get me to bed at a decent hour) to believe in something and stick to it, I just cannot do so because it does not feel right to me. I have always followed my heart (and I really do not think it has lead me astray yet) and my heart seems to get concerned whenever I try to accept beliefs such as yours. I'm torn though because my heart also tells me to let all this go because you seem a good match for me. But is it right to sacrifice what I value? After all, this is not something that can be avoided forever. I wish I knew the right answer. I wish my heart could have been made unbreakable. It feels as though it has been shattered.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
The Real World
I'm a slave to the working day, but who isn't? Everyone struggles and everyone mopes about their problems. However, at the end of the day, there is a home that we return to and a different regiment that we perform to help ourselves forget about the frustrations of the day. I wonder if in Heaven, all the people must work to earn something for themselves? Is there frustration even there? Do angels have a workload that they must efficiently process? Is there paperwork or electronic records? Do they return to their home on a cloud and unwind with a beer in hand, while sitting like zombies in front of the television, watching reality show after obnoxious reality show? Is it sacriligious to consider an angel a zombie? I wonder...
Monday, July 09, 2007
I want someone who will...
make me laugh
be supportive
intrigue me
spoil me
whisper sweet things to me
have faith in me
confide in me
be patient with me
be proud of me
demand the best of me
challenge me
adore me
be dedicated
be passionate
be grounded
be focused
hold me all night
thank me for my creativity
be strong
be independent
be loyal
be trustworthy
be compassionate
be dedicated to my interests
try new things
be interested in hearing about my day
play with my hair
talk to me in a "baby" voice
love my dog
people-watch with me
laugh with me
spend time with my family
love me for my imperfections
melt me with kisses
appreciate me for all i do
open doors for me
serenade me
tickle me
teach me his passions
protect me
surprise me
be handy around the house
be a role model for kids
be clean
wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me that he loves me
run with me
laugh at my lame jokes
be goofy with me
get dressed up with me on a whim
write me poetic emails just because
dance with me in a rainstorm
go on random adventures with me
and most importantly...
love me as much as i love him
be supportive
intrigue me
spoil me
whisper sweet things to me
have faith in me
confide in me
be patient with me
be proud of me
demand the best of me
challenge me
adore me
be dedicated
be passionate
be grounded
be focused
hold me all night
thank me for my creativity
be strong
be independent
be loyal
be trustworthy
be compassionate
be dedicated to my interests
try new things
be interested in hearing about my day
play with my hair
talk to me in a "baby" voice
love my dog
people-watch with me
laugh with me
spend time with my family
love me for my imperfections
melt me with kisses
appreciate me for all i do
open doors for me
serenade me
tickle me
teach me his passions
protect me
surprise me
be handy around the house
be a role model for kids
be clean
wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me that he loves me
run with me
laugh at my lame jokes
be goofy with me
get dressed up with me on a whim
write me poetic emails just because
dance with me in a rainstorm
go on random adventures with me
and most importantly...
love me as much as i love him
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
A Good, Clean Cleansing
I forgot what it's like to feel this way. Everything feels more intense. There is something about a breakup that is so cleansing. It makes you dig deep inside yourself and bring all your stored criticisms to the surface. It's really self-constructive. Yes, you feel horrible about the situation, but you build yourself up because you know you did the best you could; there was nothing more you could do and you owe it to yourself to look in the mirror and say that no matter what other people think, you are an incredible person to yourself. I love who I have become in my 23 years of learning the world. So what if another person doesn't see it that way. He couldn't see how stellar I was and honestly, I feel sorry for him. It really is his loss. Someone else will be far more deserving. I'm tired of modesty. You really do only have one life to live and why spend it feeling like you are less than perfect? I say be happy with who you are... especially on those days when you really have something to be happy about. Today was great and I didn't need someone else in my life to convince me that it was. I told myself and I will continue to tell myself in the future. My senses feel like they have peaked. The wind brushed against my face in a different way today. Although I feel heightened pain in my heart, I can smile bigger knowing I made a huge achievement today and I earned it all by myself. Now being lonely isn't nearly as bad.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Matters No More
Eyes burned
with zealous fire,
Heart radiated
devotion.
Now irrelevant.
A soul left forsaken,
derelict.
A once-dedicated life
abandoned
and not fought for
matters no more.
with zealous fire,
Heart radiated
devotion.
Now irrelevant.
A soul left forsaken,
derelict.
A once-dedicated life
abandoned
and not fought for
matters no more.
Monday, April 09, 2007
My Grandfather, My Hero, "Ranger Hal" Shaw
Imagine you are being filmed "live", dressed as a forest ranger, and you must hold the attention of more than half-a-million school-age children for a full 30 minutes by conversing with puppets-- a rabbit, a fox, and a very eager beaver. Better yet, imagine you have to do this six days a week with no real operating budget and you have to produce and write the show all by yourself. That's the way it was for my Grandfather, who performed the very difficult but rewarding role of "Ranger Hal."Let me tell you a little about my Grandfather's background.
After earning a degree in Drama from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, he performed in summer touring companies with other famous actors such as Ernst Borgnine and Andy Griffith. In 1957, Harold "Hal" Shaw came to Washington, DC with a passionate desire to perform. After substituting on another kids show for the summer and becoming a role model for many children, Hal Shaw decided to create his own influential television show to educate children. He created a forest ranger character in order to help teach young children about nature and positive morals with the help of some very knowledgeable animal sidekicks. In an interview with Stephen Moore and Donn B. Murphy in 1985, Hal Shaw explained why he developed Ranger Hal. "I thought that a forest ranger stood for everything right and good and he had to know what he was doing."
It didn't take long for the show to become an instant success.
Hal Shaw was not only Ranger Hal but also the pre-recorded voice and personality of Oswald Rabbit, Dr. Fox, and Eager Beaver. The puppets were developed by the Muppets creator, Jim Hensen. The show included cartoons, short skits, and even famous guest appearances by Timmy and Lassie and Smokey Bear, which all advocated forest safety and fire prevention and imparted positive morals. The show aired at various times in the morning for a total of 13 years, running from October 1957 until February 1969. My Grandfather did not have time to rest during the weekends. Ranger Hal made local appearances at various shopping centers in the DC/metropolitan area where thousands of anxious children stood in line for hours just to see him and get his autograph.
Hal Shaw received 3 Emmy's for "Outstanding Children's Programming." Because of his popularity, Ranger Hal made guest appearances on other famous TV Shows, like the very popular western, "Gunsmoke." Ranger Hal was quite an influential role model to many children. The Washington Post cited a letter from a parent about how her child had been offered candy to take a ride in a car with a stranger. The child refused and ran away, later stating that "Ranger Hal said never to speak to strangers." My Grandfather admitted "...I still get a thrill meeting and hearing from fans... It excites me to know how much they enjoyed the program... To think that I made that much of an impression." Ranger Hal's greatest accomplishment was his ability to reach children. "I learned a great respect for children. They are true believers, and I was careful not to take advantage of their belief in me."
Want to learn more about Ranger Hal? Visit http://kidshow.dcmemories.com/hal1.html.
Gerald Owens, from CBS, wrote the following excerpt on 2/8/02:.
"I was fortunate enough to interview Ranger Hal back in 1998 (one of his last, if not THE last interview he ever gave) as part of Channel 9's 50th anniversary celebration. It was as if I'd gone back in time. When we got to his house, there he was sitting on his couch, advanced in age and illness, in the original Ranger Hal uniform. And it still fit! He was surrounded by Oswald Rabbit and the rest of his famous sidekicks. Though many of them had weathered over the years. I'm 41 now, and admit that I rarely watched the show, and hardly remember it. But it didn't matter. During the hour or so we spent with him, the vitality and charisma he showed made it abundantly clear why he was such a big hit. Here he was, dealing with a painful and unmerciful disease like cancer, yet his famous smile never left his face the entire time we were there. He was gracious with his time, answering every question with a story from the '50s and '60s that put it all in perspective. It's rare that we get to experience history first hand. I'm lucky that I have. It's one of my most memorable interviews."
In dedication to my wonderful Grandfather. You are missed.
Tribute to Audrey Hepburn
She was the physical embodiment of innocent beauty, charming her way into our hearts and lives. She was living evidence that angels do reside on earth. Tonight, I post this blog in tribute of Audrey Hepburn and her life accomplishments. She was known for her starring roles in such movies as Roman Holiday, Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and My Fair Lady. However, I would like to take this opportunity to celebrate Ms. Hepburn for a different starring role in which she played. Tonight I pay tribute to her character off the screen. Audrey Hepburn was a devoted humanitarian who dedicated the remainder of her life to helping needy children around the world.
She was appointed as UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in 1988 and traveled to Africa, Asia, and Latin America on behalf of starving children. She was relentless and saw to it that relief was given to those in need. After visiting the impoverished people of Somalia in 1992, Ms. Hepburn recounted her horrid tale, "I walked into a nightmare... It's so hard to talk about because it's unspeakable." Her journey had taken her to what she thought was hell. The worst drought in history and horrific civil war had utterly demolished the country and ravaged the population. One of the first sights she saw was hundreds of dead small children being piled onto a truck. It was clear by the expression on her face that she had to relive the scene every time she spoke of her travels. She would never forget that one small, starving boy she had met and then how she came back the very next day and he was gone.
Ms. Hepburn once said, "It just is so totally unacceptable to see small children die in front of your eyes. How are you supposed to get on a plane and go back to your regular life? It throws your whole world out of balance. There is a moral obligation that those who have should give to those who don't." I would like to remember Audrey Hepburn's devotion to the children of the world and her commitment to this moral cause. Her involvement was genuine and it gave her a real sense of fulfillment. Ms. Hepburn's devotion to humanitarian efforts is evidence of her drive to deliver a meaningful human message and we are reminded of this every time we watch her on film. She used her popularity as a means to inform that the suffering children of the world should never be forgotten.
I commend Ms. Hepburn for raising the consciousness of the world. She was a woman whose poise and grace showed through every performance. Her elegance, charm, and stunning beauty were projected not only on the screen, but through her actions as a humanitarian. Even as she was dying of cancer, she worked tirelessly to bring relief to suffering children around the world. Because of this, it is undoubtedly evident that Audrey Hepburn's beauty was not just physical, but immortal.
She was appointed as UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in 1988 and traveled to Africa, Asia, and Latin America on behalf of starving children. She was relentless and saw to it that relief was given to those in need. After visiting the impoverished people of Somalia in 1992, Ms. Hepburn recounted her horrid tale, "I walked into a nightmare... It's so hard to talk about because it's unspeakable." Her journey had taken her to what she thought was hell. The worst drought in history and horrific civil war had utterly demolished the country and ravaged the population. One of the first sights she saw was hundreds of dead small children being piled onto a truck. It was clear by the expression on her face that she had to relive the scene every time she spoke of her travels. She would never forget that one small, starving boy she had met and then how she came back the very next day and he was gone.
Ms. Hepburn once said, "It just is so totally unacceptable to see small children die in front of your eyes. How are you supposed to get on a plane and go back to your regular life? It throws your whole world out of balance. There is a moral obligation that those who have should give to those who don't." I would like to remember Audrey Hepburn's devotion to the children of the world and her commitment to this moral cause. Her involvement was genuine and it gave her a real sense of fulfillment. Ms. Hepburn's devotion to humanitarian efforts is evidence of her drive to deliver a meaningful human message and we are reminded of this every time we watch her on film. She used her popularity as a means to inform that the suffering children of the world should never be forgotten.
I commend Ms. Hepburn for raising the consciousness of the world. She was a woman whose poise and grace showed through every performance. Her elegance, charm, and stunning beauty were projected not only on the screen, but through her actions as a humanitarian. Even as she was dying of cancer, she worked tirelessly to bring relief to suffering children around the world. Because of this, it is undoubtedly evident that Audrey Hepburn's beauty was not just physical, but immortal.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
A Sunset
I happened to lay my eyes upon the most stunning portrait.
My windowsill became a frame,
encapsulating a blood-red orb enclosed by streaks of chiffon clouds
and beyond, a backdrop of passionate pinks diffusing into placid purples.
I marvel at such enchanting beauty, while feeling my admiration
transform itself into goosebumps gliding down my body.
My determined eyes play "follow the glowing sphere",
as it makes its dramatic exit and carries with it the rosy lilac aura...
Such a profound elegance that has now slowly hid itself away beyond the horizon with the passing of time.
My windowsill became a frame,
encapsulating a blood-red orb enclosed by streaks of chiffon clouds
and beyond, a backdrop of passionate pinks diffusing into placid purples.
I marvel at such enchanting beauty, while feeling my admiration
transform itself into goosebumps gliding down my body.
My determined eyes play "follow the glowing sphere",
as it makes its dramatic exit and carries with it the rosy lilac aura...
Such a profound elegance that has now slowly hid itself away beyond the horizon with the passing of time.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Diminishing Integrity of the Human Race
This sums up my day...
"If you fall, I will catch you...
...but I'm not making any promises."
Whatever happened to the notion of a person holding steadfastly true to their commitments?
"If you fall, I will catch you...
...but I'm not making any promises."
Whatever happened to the notion of a person holding steadfastly true to their commitments?
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Silence
Your silence is disconcerting. It is so quiet, I can hear my thoughts screaming to be heard. I have things that I want to tell you. So many words that need to be said. I have every intention to share my thoughts with you. They dance on the tip of my tongue and practically leap off my lips as soon as I start to open my mouth. But, when my eyes meet your eyes, something makes me hold everything back. You can instantly turn from hot to cold in a matter of milliseconds. It's so abrupt sometimes, it almost feels like I am standing next to a different person. I don't know if it is something I do. One moment I can be so comfortable when you look at me, and then at other times, your piercing stare makes me want to hide away. I'm starting to feel scared to even look at you. I don't know what you are thinking, but I know it must be significant enough that you feel a reason to suppress it. You hold back and then I hold back. I shouldn't feel this way; especially because I hardly see you. You show more emotion in your e-mails than in person. I know you feel things. Are you afraid to share them with me? If so, why must you be afraid of me? I want to be your friend. Your silence makes me think you don't see me as anything beyond a bunch of bones covered up by skin. Make me feel like I am worth something to you... I beg of you.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Life and Love
The speed of life
moves in a flicker flash
fluttering, fleeting
The depth of love
hearts sometimes clash
but are always beating
Until we slowly ascend
beyond heaven's gates, we pass
with smiles at the angels' greeting
Like we can't protect our eyes
from each falling eyelash
we must live out each day
for this one could be the last
Laugh at adversity
climb past the heights of your potential
and hold those you adore as close as you can
for their love is essential.
moves in a flicker flash
fluttering, fleeting
The depth of love
hearts sometimes clash
but are always beating
Until we slowly ascend
beyond heaven's gates, we pass
with smiles at the angels' greeting
Like we can't protect our eyes
from each falling eyelash
we must live out each day
for this one could be the last
Laugh at adversity
climb past the heights of your potential
and hold those you adore as close as you can
for their love is essential.
Friday, March 23, 2007
I see red
I see red in your eyes reflected from mars as you hold me close beneath the twinkling stars.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Humiliation
You are that person in public
where everybody uses
a secret language
they tell with their eyes...
making fun of you.
where everybody uses
a secret language
they tell with their eyes...
making fun of you.
Me and her
I stared at the girl from across the room. When she glanced my way, I pretended to be scanning the room. She had no idea that I was watching her. I didn't understand what was happening or why. Suddenly, I spoke and broke the silence.
"She doesn't exist anymore."
I had no idea what came over me to say such words. I looked back at the girl and luckly, she hadn't noticed I spoke at all. Some sad, scratchy voice answered my remark, "you should be so glad you got out when you did." I turned around in a panic to see where it had come from. Nobody behind me. I heard it again, "there are so many beautiful things in this world, you don't deserve to see." "You cannot find who you used to be." The voice was strained and sounded diseased, with panic. "The more you move forward, the more you lose. You cannot bring yourself to listen to the music you love. It haunts you. "Where was it coming from? The girl saw me panicking. She stood. She slowly walked towards the window. She anchored her feet on the edge of my insanity, and then jumped.
"She doesn't exist anymore."
I had no idea what came over me to say such words. I looked back at the girl and luckly, she hadn't noticed I spoke at all. Some sad, scratchy voice answered my remark, "you should be so glad you got out when you did." I turned around in a panic to see where it had come from. Nobody behind me. I heard it again, "there are so many beautiful things in this world, you don't deserve to see." "You cannot find who you used to be." The voice was strained and sounded diseased, with panic. "The more you move forward, the more you lose. You cannot bring yourself to listen to the music you love. It haunts you. "Where was it coming from? The girl saw me panicking. She stood. She slowly walked towards the window. She anchored her feet on the edge of my insanity, and then jumped.
We overlook
"Heard them say I have 14 days left.Have lived a life of omission; I once belonged to someone,
but now I sit here unnoticed and not wanted.
but now I sit here unnoticed and not wanted.
I'm a misplaced apparition.
Of course they are not blameworthy.
Of course they are not blameworthy.
They just don't have the capacity to love us all.
Here I sit against my will -- a cold, damp dwelling.
Still a home, it just provides a captive freedom.
I sense so many frightning smells through these bars.
I know nothing of the meaning of what they call standards or expectations.
They know me as something called naïve?
Because of what I am, or better for what I am not.
I am not them. I do not understand them.
Still a home, it just provides a captive freedom.
I sense so many frightning smells through these bars.
I know nothing of the meaning of what they call standards or expectations.
They know me as something called naïve?
Because of what I am, or better for what I am not.
I am not them. I do not understand them.
But clearly I understand I am not what they want.
The purpose of my existence? I think I had a purpose once,
but they were sightless or couldn’t smell me correctly. I had urges to love them (and gnaw at annoyances in which they called 'chickens').
After all, isn’t that what they did too?
They too ate inferior beasts.
The purpose of my existence? I think I had a purpose once,
but they were sightless or couldn’t smell me correctly. I had urges to love them (and gnaw at annoyances in which they called 'chickens').
After all, isn’t that what they did too?
They too ate inferior beasts.
Why do they hate me for it?
Here I am, lying in my new cold home. But I can't be angry. They gave me a chance and I let them down.
I still love them no matter what they have done to me.
They say I only see black and white.
They say I only see black and white.
But, I see more than they. They are so wrong about me.
So I will sit here and love them until end because that's what my heart has always told me to do."
Tidal Wave
Like me, he was visiting this national attraction with great frustration and apprehension, although I had no idea why. He was an awkward and uncoordinated man. So much so in fact that he nearly knocked me into a jagged rock (on accident) and then apologized profusely. I told him it was quite alright and immediately pitied him because I felt strangely aware of his sorrow. It was clear that he was disoriented and his only aspiration was to re-live his sadness. That's when he began his horrid tale about her. He never looked at me directly. From what I could see of his eyes, they were dark and tired. It almost seemed like whatever it was that had affected him had conquered his very soul. I executed an intense stare, but he showed no recognition that anyone was even around him. It was like he didn't care if anyone was listening to him or not. All he wanted was to release his story from his lips and let the words escape into the dry air. It occured to me that he possessed a rare form of eccentric strength. The kind that materializes from an immense loss, and I knew at that very moment it was her I saw in his eyes. Another elderly man who was with him smacked him hard against his right hip with a cane, in an attempt to jolt him away from telling his story. Despite the rush to inform, he still hesitated a great deal, although his words sounded forced by some raging internal disturbance. I think a large part of him wanted his words to latch tightly to the corresponding memory and to depart into the early evening air, never to be remembered again. “She was… she…” he choked up, “she was… devoured.” It looked as though the memory was devouring him inside out. I shifted, uncomfortable on my feet. “What seemed like hours of struggle lasted only minutes. Time was the accomplice to her most ultimate betrayal…death. Every single moment I look back, I realize the clock conspired against her life at a horrifying speed...” I gulped hard as he shifted his defeated exterior mask down towards the canyon below, showing very little notice to those around him. I lifted my right hand to my heart and looked down at the ground. The poor man, the poor old man. He kept talking and had not recognized my gesture. “…But it was the ocean that… murdered her. That vast beast swallowed her… with such strength that even her raging battle for life was no match. All I did was watch, helpless, as she came to terms with her… greatest failure.” A tear descended from his pink, leathery cheek and splashed upon the dry, reddish dust, sizzling toward its own non-existence. I tried not to focus on it, but my imagination tricked me into thinking that the now-absent tear was somehow trying to perform a reenactment of her described annihilation. I shuddered and felt my own body generate fictitious spikes that engraved the back of my neck. “That was the last time I ever saw her…”
Poor old man, I thought again and again. I wondered how he had failed to notice that the young girl was stooping beside him all along and now was weeping profusely and most likely all in vain, because he didn’t sense her presence…
...and because on that very terrifying day that he described happened years ago, she had witnessed the ironic actuality... he had become nearly deaf, totally blind, and unconsciously crazy when he was beaten by a massive tidal wave.
Poor old man, I thought again and again. I wondered how he had failed to notice that the young girl was stooping beside him all along and now was weeping profusely and most likely all in vain, because he didn’t sense her presence…
...and because on that very terrifying day that he described happened years ago, she had witnessed the ironic actuality... he had become nearly deaf, totally blind, and unconsciously crazy when he was beaten by a massive tidal wave.
I do
Black emptiness, the stark edifice
(the universe) so-called “confining” you,
a transfixing comet.
This contrasting world surrounding,
they think you cannot flee
but I can see it all to clear
your splendor proving darkness breeds
a mockery of your existence.
The outer reaches of our minds eye
could never compete with your distant radiance
(brilliance) light years away,
and you forever ingraining in me
a sense of travesty.
Why? Because.
Nothing could ever compare to you.
Everything else is merely a fake charade,
a parody, a joke.
A world that lacks you is meaningless,
futile and weak
and although it may seem the dark cosmos
captures you from time to time…
you reveal to me this hoax of a world
that cannot hold on to you
but in my heart,
I do.
(the universe) so-called “confining” you,
a transfixing comet.
This contrasting world surrounding,
they think you cannot flee
but I can see it all to clear
your splendor proving darkness breeds
a mockery of your existence.
The outer reaches of our minds eye
could never compete with your distant radiance
(brilliance) light years away,
and you forever ingraining in me
a sense of travesty.
Why? Because.
Nothing could ever compare to you.
Everything else is merely a fake charade,
a parody, a joke.
A world that lacks you is meaningless,
futile and weak
and although it may seem the dark cosmos
captures you from time to time…
you reveal to me this hoax of a world
that cannot hold on to you
but in my heart,
I do.
Visions of You
Sitting outside
in the sting of December air,
far away from remembering
those songs you sang that put me to sleep,
though I'm tired now of listening.
Trust in the stars to solace my sorrow,
losing control in the silence of night,
tired of asking why time steals,
and here I'll remain
comatose
by visions of you.
in the sting of December air,
far away from remembering
those songs you sang that put me to sleep,
though I'm tired now of listening.
Trust in the stars to solace my sorrow,
losing control in the silence of night,
tired of asking why time steals,
and here I'll remain
comatose
by visions of you.
Man in all white
A peculiar landscape.
The sun is shining and it’s pouring rain.
The tree, half alive and half dead, stands alone in the field.
The background entirely made up of intense green leaves
with those protruding ghostly arms beckoning his fate.
The man wearing all white faces away.
A world of irony he aspires to leave behind.
It’s bravery that makes him change when the rest of the world does not.
He has no perception of the isolation that will devour him, terminate him.
The sun is shining and it’s pouring rain.
The tree, half alive and half dead, stands alone in the field.
The background entirely made up of intense green leaves
with those protruding ghostly arms beckoning his fate.
The man wearing all white faces away.
A world of irony he aspires to leave behind.
It’s bravery that makes him change when the rest of the world does not.
He has no perception of the isolation that will devour him, terminate him.
Once stable hands
once stable hands
tick like bombs
necessary matters
unnecessary things
darkness agitates
a swelling heart
his sky had limits
she falls apart
come gather 'round
the count-down place
we all cheer
to a tear-stained face
press your nose hard
against the glass
stare at misfortune
she won't glance back
let's all laugh
he broke her crown
tiny room spins
she crashes down
counting counting
t-minus ten
years fall to pieces
never free again
he craved blood
her hair moved aside
spill your guts
nowhere to hide
loving Mute hears
but can't talk
embrace your fears
experience shock
Mute can scream
from a tear in the eye
no one listened
the sad ones die
tick like bombs
necessary matters
unnecessary things
darkness agitates
a swelling heart
his sky had limits
she falls apart
come gather 'round
the count-down place
we all cheer
to a tear-stained face
press your nose hard
against the glass
stare at misfortune
she won't glance back
let's all laugh
he broke her crown
tiny room spins
she crashes down
counting counting
t-minus ten
years fall to pieces
never free again
he craved blood
her hair moved aside
spill your guts
nowhere to hide
loving Mute hears
but can't talk
embrace your fears
experience shock
Mute can scream
from a tear in the eye
no one listened
the sad ones die
Furious
what right do you have?
thinking you're untouchable
a waste basket has more meaning in life
than you do
take your heart and
inject a syringe of goodness
and you'd still be
despicable to me...
go on
tell me who
you think i am
then i'll tell you
that i'm not
you can't see me
with those dark, dark
heartless
lenses in your eyes...
thinking you're untouchable
a waste basket has more meaning in life
than you do
take your heart and
inject a syringe of goodness
and you'd still be
despicable to me...
go on
tell me who
you think i am
then i'll tell you
that i'm not
you can't see me
with those dark, dark
heartless
lenses in your eyes...
Broken
do you remember
all those years
you promised me
with sweet talk
you'd stay with me?
so how'd you let me
let you go away?
now I don't care
that you're not here
I don't care at all
you're only as far as
a lightning bolt away
so why'd you let me
let you go away?
your thunder keeps me
up at night
i'm being punished 'cause
I can't see the stars
and you're content
with your clear skies
and your breeze brings
a hurricane to me
now I don't care
that you're not here
I don't care at all
now I don't care
that you're not here
I don't care at all
you're the one who's broken
all those years
you promised me
with sweet talk
you'd stay with me?
so how'd you let me
let you go away?
now I don't care
that you're not here
I don't care at all
you're only as far as
a lightning bolt away
so why'd you let me
let you go away?
your thunder keeps me
up at night
i'm being punished 'cause
I can't see the stars
and you're content
with your clear skies
and your breeze brings
a hurricane to me
now I don't care
that you're not here
I don't care at all
now I don't care
that you're not here
I don't care at all
you're the one who's broken
How I should be remembered
Thought this would be funny to post on here. This is my pretend obituary that I had to write for one of my classes this semester. I know, what an optimistic assignment! This pretty much sums up my obsession with music. Enjoy!
December 21, 2056
Kelly Shaw, Devoted Musician, Died at 73
By John Smith
Kelly Shaw, the talented and creative singer and songwriter, died yesterday [12-20-2056] at her home in Vienna, Austria. She was 73. Her death was announced by singer/songwriter legend and close friend, Jarrett Blankenship.
While a college student at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, VA, Shaw studied Business Information Technology at the Pamplin School of Business. After graduating in May 2006, Shaw entered the working world as an Information Technology Specialist at the Government Accountability Office (GAO) in Washington, DC. She spent part of her career auditing other federal agencies' information technology infrastructure. Shaw considered her job to be meaningful and fascinating. She was proud to work at the GAO, part of the legislative branch of the U.S. federal government, because the agency's purpose was to protect the American taxpayers. She found the job to be exciting because of its investigative nature. Shaw's work proved to be successful as she was quoted several times in many testimonies before Congress. "I felt I made substantial personal achievements while working for the federal government and it made me feel stronger as a person," she had said in an interview with VH1.
After many faithful years of service in the government, Shaw decided to change directions completely. Although she considered her work life to be significant, she still wanted to pursue her passion of music. She had already been writing and performing music on the side. Government employee by day and Punk-Pop-Electronica diva by night and on weekends. "It's what I had to do to complete my life," Shaw said. It wasnt long before her on-the-side band had parted ways that she contemplated a solo career in music. She had studied music, both voice and piano, as a child and drew from her past instruction and her creative passion to spark her drive to write and perform her own songs. In February 2014, she realized that she had to decide between her two jobs as to which one would take her further. She waved goodbye to her already successful government career and enthusiastically embraced her new desire to become a full-time musician.
Shaw immediately began sharing her unique style of music with audiences all over the Washington, DC area. She made it her primary purpose to get her music into the ears of anyone who was willing to listen. Consequently, it wasnt long before she had a steady following of people in support of her endeavor. After releasing her first CD, Kelly Shaw became an Oscar nominee for Best Original Song, "Tender and Sweet", which was featured in the movie Mission Impossible 9: MI 9. Her second, third, and fourth CDs made her a multi-platinum artist that redefined the sound of the 2010s and 2020s. Her inspiration came from past musicians like The Beatles, Elliott Smith, Frou Frou, and Sigur Ros.
Shaw was captivated by the combination of genres: Punk, Pop, Folk, Classical, and Electronica. Several of her fans classified her sound as part of the Independent Rock music scene, but most of her fans considered Shaw's music to be something breakthrough and entirely different. Many loyal fans today regard the mood, lyrical quality, and melody of her ingenious music to be the offspring of all music genres brought together and stirred up in a massive bowl. Hence, the genre "Bowl". She will always be remembered for her unique sound. In particular, a steamy, sultry voice and luscious melodies.
Kelly Shaw's survivors include her husband, Chris Carrabba, lead singer and guitarist of emo-alternative band Dashboard Confessional; her two children of Los Angeles, Calif.; and four grandchildren.
Early last year, in an interview with MTV, Shaw was asked if there was anything in her long career that she wished she had done differently. "Although it is natural to think about past experiences and how you would do them differently next time around," she said, "I dont think I would. I would relive my life entirely over again if I could. Besides, I must have done something right if there are people out there willing to remember me for my music, which is what I feel so passionately about."
December 21, 2056
Kelly Shaw, Devoted Musician, Died at 73
By John Smith
Kelly Shaw, the talented and creative singer and songwriter, died yesterday [12-20-2056] at her home in Vienna, Austria. She was 73. Her death was announced by singer/songwriter legend and close friend, Jarrett Blankenship.
While a college student at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, VA, Shaw studied Business Information Technology at the Pamplin School of Business. After graduating in May 2006, Shaw entered the working world as an Information Technology Specialist at the Government Accountability Office (GAO) in Washington, DC. She spent part of her career auditing other federal agencies' information technology infrastructure. Shaw considered her job to be meaningful and fascinating. She was proud to work at the GAO, part of the legislative branch of the U.S. federal government, because the agency's purpose was to protect the American taxpayers. She found the job to be exciting because of its investigative nature. Shaw's work proved to be successful as she was quoted several times in many testimonies before Congress. "I felt I made substantial personal achievements while working for the federal government and it made me feel stronger as a person," she had said in an interview with VH1.
After many faithful years of service in the government, Shaw decided to change directions completely. Although she considered her work life to be significant, she still wanted to pursue her passion of music. She had already been writing and performing music on the side. Government employee by day and Punk-Pop-Electronica diva by night and on weekends. "It's what I had to do to complete my life," Shaw said. It wasnt long before her on-the-side band had parted ways that she contemplated a solo career in music. She had studied music, both voice and piano, as a child and drew from her past instruction and her creative passion to spark her drive to write and perform her own songs. In February 2014, she realized that she had to decide between her two jobs as to which one would take her further. She waved goodbye to her already successful government career and enthusiastically embraced her new desire to become a full-time musician.
Shaw immediately began sharing her unique style of music with audiences all over the Washington, DC area. She made it her primary purpose to get her music into the ears of anyone who was willing to listen. Consequently, it wasnt long before she had a steady following of people in support of her endeavor. After releasing her first CD, Kelly Shaw became an Oscar nominee for Best Original Song, "Tender and Sweet", which was featured in the movie Mission Impossible 9: MI 9. Her second, third, and fourth CDs made her a multi-platinum artist that redefined the sound of the 2010s and 2020s. Her inspiration came from past musicians like The Beatles, Elliott Smith, Frou Frou, and Sigur Ros.
Shaw was captivated by the combination of genres: Punk, Pop, Folk, Classical, and Electronica. Several of her fans classified her sound as part of the Independent Rock music scene, but most of her fans considered Shaw's music to be something breakthrough and entirely different. Many loyal fans today regard the mood, lyrical quality, and melody of her ingenious music to be the offspring of all music genres brought together and stirred up in a massive bowl. Hence, the genre "Bowl". She will always be remembered for her unique sound. In particular, a steamy, sultry voice and luscious melodies.
Kelly Shaw's survivors include her husband, Chris Carrabba, lead singer and guitarist of emo-alternative band Dashboard Confessional; her two children of Los Angeles, Calif.; and four grandchildren.
Early last year, in an interview with MTV, Shaw was asked if there was anything in her long career that she wished she had done differently. "Although it is natural to think about past experiences and how you would do them differently next time around," she said, "I dont think I would. I would relive my life entirely over again if I could. Besides, I must have done something right if there are people out there willing to remember me for my music, which is what I feel so passionately about."
Perfect sin
the haze-streaked trees beyond the lake
swallow the setting sun
final daylight hours accent your eyes
my breathless body stunned
now the rain begins to fall
my body cold, i pull you close
a passion drug, i kiss you deep
beware of my heavy dose
chase me along the lake shore
tempt me, I'm coming back for more
embrace my body, touch my skin
join me in the perfect sin
the heat we make dries the night
i can't control desire
when you lick your lips and kiss my neck
my body is on fire
tonight, baby, i'm all you want
you've been hypnotized
i'll make you burn, i'll make you sweat
so look me in the eyes
we'll find someplace to hide
with only the stars as our guide
embrace my body, touch my skin
join me in the perfect sin
i want to devise a way to stay
i hope my powers last
time is racing like my heart
this night moves way too fast
the stars only shine for us tonight
there we dance under moonlight
i'd sell my soul if it's you i win
so join me in the perfect sin
i've found love, laced with lust
the night is ending and i'll soon be dust
embrace my body, touch my skin
and join me in the perfect sin
swallow the setting sun
final daylight hours accent your eyes
my breathless body stunned
now the rain begins to fall
my body cold, i pull you close
a passion drug, i kiss you deep
beware of my heavy dose
chase me along the lake shore
tempt me, I'm coming back for more
embrace my body, touch my skin
join me in the perfect sin
the heat we make dries the night
i can't control desire
when you lick your lips and kiss my neck
my body is on fire
tonight, baby, i'm all you want
you've been hypnotized
i'll make you burn, i'll make you sweat
so look me in the eyes
we'll find someplace to hide
with only the stars as our guide
embrace my body, touch my skin
join me in the perfect sin
i want to devise a way to stay
i hope my powers last
time is racing like my heart
this night moves way too fast
the stars only shine for us tonight
there we dance under moonlight
i'd sell my soul if it's you i win
so join me in the perfect sin
i've found love, laced with lust
the night is ending and i'll soon be dust
embrace my body, touch my skin
and join me in the perfect sin
You're dead to me
i'm not sure what to think
i don't know what to do
if there is something there
and it's because of you
i may bow my head and cry
and curse your name in vain
i may never tell a soul
even when i'm feeling pain
should you have a right to know
what causes me this grief,
if you're the one that let me go
against my own belief?
i cannot say you betrayed
i cannot tell if you have lied
but know that my decision
could forever haunt you deep inside
even if i do not tell you
i hope somehow you feel my hurt
you are not worth all my tears
you're nothing more than dirt
so if i make the choice
to end what might be there
i know it's for the very best
because i know you wouldn't care
i would have to go it alone
thoughts of us would haunt my head
and the consequence would only know
that once you lived but now you're dead
i don't know what to do
if there is something there
and it's because of you
i may bow my head and cry
and curse your name in vain
i may never tell a soul
even when i'm feeling pain
should you have a right to know
what causes me this grief,
if you're the one that let me go
against my own belief?
i cannot say you betrayed
i cannot tell if you have lied
but know that my decision
could forever haunt you deep inside
even if i do not tell you
i hope somehow you feel my hurt
you are not worth all my tears
you're nothing more than dirt
so if i make the choice
to end what might be there
i know it's for the very best
because i know you wouldn't care
i would have to go it alone
thoughts of us would haunt my head
and the consequence would only know
that once you lived but now you're dead
Snowflakes
the sky is filled with snowflakes. the world outside the window looks all shaken up. our world is just one big snow globe. whatever it is that is out there, violently shaking it up, must be pretty powerful to move something so large. it's pretty outside. it looks like something i have dreamed before. a cold and silent dream, where time stands still. i wish time stood still. i wish i could stand still long enough to catch my breath. i'm exhausted. my days feel all shaken up. i know i am all shaken up... and so is my heart. whatever it is that is out there, violently shaking me up, must be pretty powerful. yeah.
Reflection
college feels like centuries ago. time moves so fast... i'm walking on a treadmill which is my life. i feel like i remain in the same spot, but i have actually covered a lot of ground. it's funny how experiences change you, although i'd like to think that i am actually changing my experiences. i'm learning (slowly) my boundaries and am avoiding breaching them as much as possible. i have discovered that i have less and less of them though. most of the barriers i face are the ones i create for myself. i am trying to be positive and continue to grow and improve who i am. of course, i am always open to any guidance anyone can offer at any time.
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